Because there is always room for more love in this crazy world

Ever since I've had the capacity to know, I've known that I'm a girl who loves to love.

I love everything. Animal, vegetable or mineral, you name it - my heart will ache with love for it. I worry at times about this bottomless cup of coffee that is my supply of love, because it hurts me so much as well.

My eyes fill with tears at anything to do with the RSPCA, when old people are bashed, when I see someone cry. I crumble at the most un-amazing amazing things.

The year 7 co-ordinator has a plan - each yr 7 homeroom will be rewarded with an afternoon of pizza and a movie if they stay code-of-conduct (like a warning) free for 3 weeks.

Easy peasy, I thought, my homeroom is full of angels. Little well-behaved, angelic baby girls.

But disaster struck on Tuesday. I was informed by a tiny little girl that one of the other girls had been given a code.

'What?!' I asked, bewildered, 'What for? And who got it?'

The tiny girl pointed to her equally tiny friend, who was verging on tears.

'I left my maths book in my bag.'

The class of tiny people watched me for my response. So this is it, I thought, this is why a lioness fights for her cubs. This is why a magpie swoops. Because for some of us, love is what we do.

'That's a silly reason, and it should never have happened,' was my reassuring response, as I mentally beat down my heartache for these little, well-meaning people.

My love is so often inconvenient and overwhelming, but at least it's endless, and I can't apologise or resent that.

It's really good being a Good Girl

The sky was what I inaccurately call Yogo blue, the breeze was warm and things were looking very, very bright in every sense of the word.

iPod in hand, sneakers on and hair in ponytail I set off on my walk in the sunshine. One block away I saw a wallet lying forlornly on the ground.

I picked it up, and unwilling to sacrifice my rare spurt of excercise enthusiasm by heading back I continued on my way. I looked inside and noticed all the credit cards, debit cards, driver's license and a key. I have lost many a purse and know only too well the panic and annoyance it causes and when arrived home I rang the bank straight away to let them know I had their client's wallet.

I got a phone call soon after, and spoke to a very grateful man who promised me a hefty reward in whatever form I liked.

But you know, I don't do 'the right thing' because I expect a reward. The feeling of doing something good for someone is addictive. Maybe ultimately it's even a selfish act for that reason. But his gratitude was reward enough.

I left the wallet in the letter box cos I was heading out, and got a text message later, thanking me and promising to 'take [me] and all my friends out and shout lots of rounds of drinks!'

Maybe that's my good karma right there! Just for being a really good Good Girl!

Growing up/growing up and towels.

When do you feel grown up? And, more to the point, when are you grown up? It's definitely not a case of you turn 18 and there you have it (I am living proof of that).

At my mum's house (and my aunties' and nanas' houses) they have towels. They have towels that are neatly folded, ample in supply, are crisp yet soft and smell like they've just come off the line from being in the sun. For some bizarre reason, towels are so comforting to me. They say to me 'grown up, organised and able to look after others'.

There's quite a few towels at my house. Towels in the bathroom, towels in the laundry basket, a few in the cupboard. But they're not like my mums. So I don't feel grown up. I've had little moments of organisation where I HAVE felt grown up, I provided a spare room with clean towels for my guests for a year. But I am always behind, always need something to be clean, always stressing over dust and grime, always tired, always not enough energy to run a complete life.

So I am most certainly not grown up. But I want to be because I am so old now.

George Lane

<----- Sarah and I being a little bit silly :)

I love the weekends, they are wonderful, blissful and fleeting moments in my life. On Saturday night we headed down to George Lane for a few quiet drinks, although some were definitely more quiet than others (cough cough) and had a bit of a giggle. In fact I was a little surprised, by around midnight it was getting pretty quiet, and for the first time in my life I noticed there were more chicks in the bar than blokes. But then I realised it was St Kilda, and all the guys in St Kilda are old and go home early, and all the girls are young and gorgeous and hoping to hook the old rich men that go home early.

Yesterday was definitely a stay-in-trackies-and-do-nothing day which was glorious, although I did finish my application and send it off.

So now I guess I just have to wait.

Impending disaster

The unthinkable has happened! I am so UNBELIEVABLY pathetic that I treat my potplant, Lila, like a child.

And now a horrible thing has happened. Her little bud, that was sprouting so beautifully, seems to have snapped at the stem! This happened a number of months ago as well, and I have been waiting for weeks, (even months!) for a new sprout to grow. So this beautiful fiery-red bloom was reaching for the sun and I was SO PROUD AND I KNEW THAT THIS ONE WOULD FLOWER.

But today I looked over at her lovingly and NOTICED SHE HAD SNAPPED. I performed emergency surgery on her using sticky tape, and so far she seems to be ok.

But I am so, so scared :( she is a fragile little being and I can't handle the pressure of being her parent.

730 days

So here we are. 730 days in. Two years, 104 weeks, 24 months.

Depending on how you say it, it sounds either forever or hardly any time at all.

Which is ironic, cos thats exactly how it feels.

I'm amazed at how quickly that time has gone, and yet I feel that there has been so much that I've felt.

For two whole years now there has been one person whose feelings, movements, thoughts, dreams, appetite, sleeping patterns, taste in films, taste in music, ideas, libido, sense of humour, frustrations and everything in between has influenced my own.

And despite all the times he annoys me or frustrates me or argues back (!?) I still find myself thinking about him and wishing the hours away til I see him.

It's a funny old thing, this love concept.

When we first got together there was a lot of scepticism, and I don't think it just came from my people. Josh had only just turned 20 when we met, and I was an ancient 24. I didn't want a relationship when we met, in fact it was the last thing on my mind. But as I walked back into my house that fateful Saturday morning, I already felt a little firework explode inside my heart.

So what brought an impatient young teacher and a very young, placid filmmaking student together? And why is it so inexplicably right?

I don't know. But it is.

And anyway, you know what Peter Allen said...

Love don't need a reason.

My flower

Lila <3

Being a girl

It's so hard being a girl. I'm not sure if it's a uniquely female thing, but as soon as I hear news I want to share it. I'm actually pretty good at keeping secrets. I can be trusted with a great deal, however when it's small snippets of extra juicy goss I just HAVE to pass it on.

I read about research that was done a few years ago about gossip, and how it's actually healthy (when it's not in a malicious way) for girls because it builds a sense of community and acceptance. It's definitely our way of bonding, which is clearly why we're so good at it. Now I'm brimming full of juicy news from today and I have no one to tell it to, and its seriously killing me.

Yes, it's a tough job being a girl, but I LOVE it!

I heart Shakespeare <3

Glory is like a circle in the water, which never ceaseth to enlarge itself, til by broad spreading it disperses to nought.

Henry VI

Some good news

I know the last post was sad. I am heartbroken by what goes on here.

But I have some good news (well, I think it's exciting)!

I bought a new cable for my digital camera today as I had lost the old one, as well as a new memory card, so now I can take photos galore and post them!

Yay!

Lets keep positive, it's a beautiful world!

-xxoo-

Please say this isn't goodbye

After a relatively busy Saturday, I braced myself against the FREEZING weather (note Goose, Paul and Ros: it is definitely NOT Neighbours weather in Melbourne in winter at all!! :) ) to head to the Rivoli to watch Sicko.

Josh came with me (he's always up for a political film these days!) and we were very excited about relaxing and letting Mike Moore entertain us for two hours.

Hmmmm... well despite laughing and giggling a fair bit through it (its actually quite hilarious) I came blinking out of the cinema kind of pissed off. Maybe not so much pissed off as disgruntled.

Disgruntled? I hear you ask. Are you 76 years old, Lauren? I also hear you ask.

No. I'm only 26. 26 and worried what is happening to our beautiful country :(

I love Australia. I love it so much. It is my lifeblood, it is hot and magnetic and cold and spooky. There are ghosts and spirits in the trees, the rocks the sand... there is a life in the air that hangs between mountains and hovers in gullies. It pulls people in and they never get out.

I love this land so much I will implode or explode, whichever way the red earth will take me.

But this land, as a nation... I am not so sure.

Last night I learnt about the British NHS, the French health system, the Cuban health system, Canadian one too.

But they couldn't put our beautiful country on, because our government has failed us. The changes Howard has made to our public health mean that we pay EXTRA taxes for our health system, and then we have to pay again for the services. Therefore, there is no public health in Australia anymore. It is just partly subsidised. They are hoping to make it a completely private health system.

Everything that our grandparents and great grandparents fought for, is disappearing before our eyes.

The foundations of paradise are crumbling.

L'end of the semaine

Here we are again, braking slowly as we pull up to the highway checkpoint that is Friday.

Although this checkpoint is GREAT AS I CAN SLEEP IN TOMORROW!

My entire week is filled with mornings where I count down to the next sleep in. Depressing I know, but I only have four months (eek! Yay!) of my job left before I spread my wings and fly to the hot desert-ed and tax-free nest of the Middle East.

In other news.. ok so there's no other news.

I'm actually kind of excited (in a really, really uncool way) as my yr 10s have been doing their subject selections for yr 11 and talking about uni, so I've put together a lecture that I can give them in the 'lecture theatre' at school (pfft, sif!) and they're SO excited cos they'll be like uni girls and then afterwards we'll have a little tutorial. You see? This is why I need a little holiday!

Ok enough of my uncoolness.

Adios