The pied piper of puds or, Token Insane Trophy Wife strikes again

I've already posted a post about my insurmountable levels of love that I have for everything, constantly bubbling under my skin, waiting to erupt in an earthquake of affection or compassion.

Yesterday I went for my walk again, no suprises there, everything completely normal.

As I neared the park, I noticed a white cat rubbing itself against the brick fence of a house on the corner of Wattletree Road and some other street. Being the animal obsessee that I am, I HAD to stope and give it a cuddle.

Well. Big mistake. HUGE mistake. The pud WOULD NOT LEAVE ME. IT WAS LIKE A DOG.

I tried dumping it back in its front yard a few times, only to have it RUN AFTER ME like a puppy! It didn't even slink cat-style, it actually trotted by my side. This started to bother me after a while, as its very upsetting to leave something so vulnerable. I even had to change the direction I was walking in to avoid the pud being hit by a Malvern 4 wheel drive (a likely fate for any of us, really).

So I sped off again, hoping the cat would forget me and stay back at its house, but it didn't.

Enter Insane Malvern Trophy Wife in 4 wheel drive, pulling into her driveway. She lowered her electric window and smiled at me. Understandably, I thought the pud must belong to her.

'Is this your cat?' I asked hopefully.
'Oh God no,' she replied, 'that cat's a horrible thing. Very vicious.'

I looked down at the cat rubbing its head lovingly against my legs, purring audibly.

'It seems to like you,' she said unhelpfully. 'Just throw it over a fence, it'll find its way home.' Her Trophy Children in obligatory private school uniforms with Camberwell-girl hair stared.

'Maybe I'll try the house one more time,' I said slowly, trying to end the pointless conversation. The cat darted towards the car, and I grabbed it quickly. It hissed, but still loved me.

'Puss!' I reprimanded lamely, 'you'll get run over!'

'Oh, oh oh,' chortled Insane Trophy Wife sadistically, 'go ahead! Put it under the wheel and I'll just squish it, miserable thing!'

'Mum!' squealed the Trophy Kids, as I smiled numbly and backed away with pud safe in my arms.

Insane bitch!